Nothing seemed more important in that moment. The rest of the world, as she knew it, faded into the background. ‘Just one more’ she reasoned. Disengaging from the noisy clutter of well-intentioned warnings, she succumbed to the urge and stared directly into the face of addiction.

Compulsive shopping, eating, gambling, pornography, drugs and alcohol are just a sample of the many faces of addiction. Addiction has been known to traverse boundaries of gender, ethnicity and social class. Its devastating impact on the individual and on society in general sparked an interest in the identification of related risk factors. Studies have since found an association between negative early life experiences and addictive personalities.

Research findings suggest that individuals who experience difficult or challenging childhoods do not internalize the ability to regulate emotion. In other words, having been exposed to invalidating environments, these individuals have not had the opportunity to have their feelings understood and contained by a nurturing caregiver. As a result, their own capacity to self-soothe becomes compromised. Furthermore, they also learn to believe that emotional support will not be readily available when needed and thus resort to suppressing their emotions. During stressful periods in life, these individuals find it difficult to tolerate intense emotion and tend to seek temporary relief in the form of food, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.
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In the context of a supportive therapeutic environment, individuals can safely navigate the treacherous waters of their pasts and begin to uncover and express previously hidden emotions. Furthermore, they can also gain insight into the reasons that made it necessary for them to rely on self-defeating coping mechanisms. In so doing, individuals develop self-compassion and fundamentally change the way in which they relate to themselves and to others thereby liberating themselves from the grip of addiction.
 
References
Shaghaghy, F., Saffarinia, M., Iranpoor, M., & Soltnynejad. A. (2011). The relationship of early maladaptive schemas, attributional styles and learnt helplessness among addicted and non-addicted men. Addiction & Health, 3(1), 45-52

Anger management seems to be a common reason for clients seeking therapy. Perhaps you too are fighting a battle with anger.  Anger may sometimes ‘win’ resulting in hurtful things being said or done, only to be regretted at a later stage.  
 
Commonly referred to as a secondary emotion, anger serves to protect one against having to experience a primary emotion. It can be understood as an iceberg - the tip is generally visible from the ocean surface but a large portion of the iceberg goes unnoticed beneath the ocean line. The expression of anger, like the tip of the iceberg, is readily available for all to experience and to recognize. Beneath the anger, however, there exists a myriad of emotions which remains unexpressed and avoided. Fear, sadness, worry, hurt, shame, rejection, and disappointment are but a few of the many unbearable emotions which are often relegated to the underworld. These emotions are not only avoided but are also re-packaged and presented as anger.
 
For example, Sandy indicated that she experienced difficulty in being able to control her anger in the presence of her terminally ill mother. She spoke about being ‘short-tempered’ and ‘irritable’. Sandy explained that she had always shared a close relationship with her mother and could therefore not understand her behaviour, especially in her mother’s time of need. Sandy slowly uncovered and explored the emotions beneath her anger and soon began to recognize a sense of fear. Sandy was terrified at the thought of losing her mother. However, having been raised to view fear as a sign of weakness, Sandy had repackaged her fear and instead presented it as anger. With this increased insight, Sandy hesitantly allowed herself to begin to experience and to share her vulnerability and through this process she was able to reconnect with her mother. 
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One’s ability to recognize anger as a protective emotion can open new avenues for understanding oneself and for communicating with others. Constantly being curious about the primary emotion being defended against, will enable one to view potentially volatile situations from alternative perspectives. Defensiveness can be replaced with empathy and attack can be exchanged for compassion.

I sat captivated in the moment as the sun set against the calm waters…cushioned in the comfort of the white sand, I surrendered to the serenity of the moment. Completely in awe, I merged and become one with the elements of nature – such is the Power of the Present.

The splendour of the current moment seems to have been lost in modern day society as we plod through life constantly worrying about the past or anticipating the future. Rarely do we pause to acknowledge and appreciate the present. Evidence of this can be found in our daily lives. How often have you tuned into your favourite radio station only to realize a while later that your mind is pre-occupied elsewhere? Perhaps you have noticed that instead of focussing on a particular television programme your thoughts have drifted to an earlier conversation. During a meeting or a lecture, you may find yourself thinking about other tasks which need to be completed. In today’s world, we are constantly focussed on our pasts, on our futures, on our worries, on our thoughts - the list is endless. Sadly, our minds seem to be everywhere but in the present moment.

Without conscious awareness, our minds tend to drift to numerous thoughts including those related to emotionally laden topics which involve anger, self-pity, stress, worry, depression, etc. The more we allow ourselves to indulge in these thoughts, the more we fuel negative emotion which increases emotional distress. By intentionally re-directing our attention away from such thoughts and toward the present moment, we have the power to decrease its negative effect on our lives and to instead pave the way for a more content and fulfilled existence.

The art of mindfulness, which dates back to ancient Buddhist tradition, involves directing of one’s attention to the present moment. Being mindful can be equated to imagining one’s thoughts as objects on a conveyer belt, watching them go by without stopping the conveyer to examine them more closely. Mindful practice allows one to view one’s thoughts from a distance, to recognize how thought patterns influence emotion and behaviour and to let go of experiences which are not useful.

The following mindfulness-based activities can be incorporated into your daily life as a means of interrupting your ‘autopilot’ mode and focussing your attention on the present:

• Engage in an activity such as yoga or tai-chi which will help you to develop an awareness of your breathing
• Take a walk or hike – listen for the sounds that you may previously have overlooked, notice the various objects in the environment (e.g. stones, insects, leaves, footsteps, plants, etc), focus on the different smells that you encounter
• Sit in silence for a few moments and pay attention only to your breathing or only to the sounds in your environment
• Choose any of your daily activities (e.g. taking a shower, making coffee, driving to work, washing the dishes) and completely immerse yourself in the activity using all your senses as opposed to rushing through the activity
• Take up an activity such as gardening and allow yourself to focus only on the task at hand

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Mindfulness involves being aware of one’s stream of thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations whilst also making a repeated effort to bring one’s awareness back to the present moment. Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is a fantasy…all we really have is the present. Immerse yourself in the Power of the Present and experience true living.